serbia’s performance has everything. gregorian monks, marina abramović references, a cutting discussion of mental health in a post-capitalist society, a song in serbian and latin, a milf,
Graham Norton Sassy Commentary Eurovision 2021: FINAL PART
- Shout Outs of UK Viewers -
“[VIEWER] is watching with the cats. It’s their first Eurovision. Lucky them. Israel must have scared them.”
“Sorry is this just showing off? So many houses for sale!”
“They’ve got a 90 inch screen in East Yorkshire! Lucky you!”
- Host Video of past Eurovision Winners in a Car-
“If James Corden is watching he may want to contact his lawyer. This is essentially Carpool Eurovision”
“Her Uber Rating is quite low I imagine”
- Winners Rooftop Party -
“Next up is ‘Teach In’ - prettysure this is the original line up”
“And finally Lordi!” *Massive jets of fire go off* “The reason we’re outside. The stink of those costumes.”
- Countdown -
“Look everyone it’s the Eurovision dancers! What are you doing? They’re making numbers! The audience love it. This is a big moment for them because once they hit zero they’re out of a job.”
“Just the zero to go it’s very difficult to do”
–
“Michael Rice (UK 2019 competitor) came last. If James Newman doesn’t come last we’re doing better, it’s an improvement.”
- JURY VOTES-
Poland: “Dressed like a Zebra for some reason”
'Do you think that outfit has a head?“
San Marino: "One day she’ll represent San Marino. She probably already has”
Albania: “Albania. Home of the bush and statue. No it looks LOVELY.”
Malta: “Gosh someone made an effort”
North Macedonia: “Hi Vani. That’s right. That’s your name.”
Azerbaijan: “Will we see Ell and Nikki? There they are.”
Nicki & Ell: “It’s been ten years since we won the show!”
Graham: I know.
Norway: *enthusiastically moving her arms* “Wow. She’s really enjoyed it hasn’t she. She really loves music.”
Spain:
Announcer: It’s been so nice to be a part of this fantastic show.
Graham: Mn.
United Kingdom: “A familiar face *sees her outfit* my goodness”
Greece:
Announcer: “12 points go to Cyprus!”
Graham: “What a surprise.”
Moldova (AKA Epic Sax guy): “He placed third in 2017 with Hey Mama. In those performances he didn’t play live.”
Cyprus:
Graham: Could Greece get the 12 points? It’s possible.“
Announcer: 12 Points to Greece!”
Graham: Of course they do.
–
*Swiss Performer talking and the Camera cuts to Italy on their phones*
“Wow Italy don’t look that interested.”
–
Finland: “Oh i wear this every time I go to the smelting plant. Very casual.
Ukraine:
Announcer: 12 points go to Italy!
Graham: That got them off their phones. That got their attention.
Georgia: "Someone dressed up. Did he know he was on camera?
France: Where are they? Is that… Paris? It could be Paris.
–
"It’s getting late here so if you hear any fruity comments from the 12 point receivers… apologies.”
–
*UK at zero points 36 Juries in*
“It doesn’t look great for James Newman”
- Public votes -
*Four countries including the UK get zero points*
“This is a very unusual year - not just because the UK has no points”
